How much is enough?

I have so many thoughts about every thing that is going on in the world right now. Excuse me if this seems a little unorganized.

Today on August 13, 2017, I feel like we have time traveled. We are taking steps backwards instead of advancing.

BASIC Human Rights are being questioned and DENIED.

Some of us can literally turn on the television or log onto social media and see people that look like us or that we can identify with being Murdered. 

How traumatic is it to know that people that you work with or come into close contact with on a daily basis harbor such hate in them for your being?

How crazy is it to know that nothing is being done to protect us? Why should we even need to be protected from these things in 2017?

What is even crazier is that people that were closeted or quiet racists, bigots etc now feel completely comfortable being so openly. No more hiding of faces or making slurs behind closed doors.

It kills me because people are worried about explaining certain things to their children but how do you really explain America today to your child?

People may ask are you surprised? And to me that shouldn’t even be the question anymore. We shouldn’t have to get used to this society. We shouldn’t have to be overally cautious of being who we are.

I’m overwhelmed. What the hell is the solution? What do we do? We are beyond conversations at this point. I shouldn’t have to convince you my life is equally as important.

I’m still a firm believer in we are stronger and better together than we are apart. Stop making excuses for the injustices. Stop trying to fall in line to be accepted.

I don’t have the answers. All of this is bigger than one individual. So I ask again…what do we do??

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“I’ll f*** up a good thing if you let me.”

Back with the 4am thoughts.

Self sabatoge is a real thing. You ever feel like something is too good to be true? I think we all have. When you feel like that we are often waiting for “the catch” or something negative to happen. Sometimes when we can’t see “the catch” or something negative doesn’t happen…we create it.

Hear me out…

Sometimes we ask for something & we want it so bad! Then when we get it or it finally happens, we don’t know what to do. We have the deer in headlights look. What I have learned is that life and its experiences isn’t a “one size fits all” kinda thing. My actions and behaviors in one setting won’t necessarily apply or benefit me in other situations. When something causes us to change up how we would normally react it’s like we get nervous. We act out of uncertainty and doubt. Sometimes we don’t even notice it.

We all know someone (even if it’s yourself), who has so much potential, the world is their oyster ( lol I’m not ever saying that again…it’s corny/cliche but you know what I mean), but yet they can’t advance. Advance in anything…personal, emotionally, financially, career wise, whatever. It’s mostly because they or we never thought we would be in this position.

We spend all the time in the world fantasizing about having something but not enough time thinking about what we would do when we get it. A part of that is self doubt. I never thought I would achieve this or accomplish that, so I didn’t think about or plan what would come next.

Self sabatoge is real! How you think and view yourself is one of the biggest determining factors on what you will accomplish. It matters none if everyone around you believes in you but you don’t believe in you. If you don’t believe you can or should have something, why would you ever think about what to do when you got it?

I’m 100% my biggest critic. If you don’t think you’re good enough for something, you’re not going to be good enough for it. Our thoughts directly influence our actions. That being said…let’s be mindful of how we think and the vibes we put out. Be confident in you, your abilities and your adaptability. Just because it’s not something you’re used to doesn’t mean you can’t get used to it or handle it. Stop looking for something to go wrong or you just mind end up creating “the wrong”. Appreciate things for what they are.

Can’t “save” everyone

You can want the world for someone but it won’t matter if they don’t want the same for themselves. So many times we offer advice and encouragement to people based on what we think will better their situation. Unfortunately some people only learn the hard way. Sometimes we try to save someone from experiencing what we’ve experienced, or someone we know has experienced. “Don’t save em’, they don’t wanna be saved”

Most disappointment comes from expecting something for or from someone that they can’t see themselves doing. This post isn’t meant to be a Debbie downer, more of a reality check. Sometimes people have to go through something in order to grow through it. We need to respect that. Everyone has their own path and sometimes that means they’re not going to the “conventional” way.

Sometimes I find myself getting so frustrated with this. But…that’s when you have to ask yourself “did I do all I could do?” I’m not here to tell anyone what to do or how to do it. I’m just here to offer help and advice when it’s asked for.

I slacked…again

I haven’t blogged in a few days ( I know, I know 🤦🏽‍♀️). I feel like I’ve been all over the place mentally lately. It’s 3:51, I should be asleep but clearly my mind had other plans.   I figured I might as well get these thoughts off…

1. Jay-Z album dropped and I like it 👌🏾. I didn’t really have expectations for it which was good because I hate to expect something and then be let down lol. He dropped a lot of gems on there and I hope ppl take note. The one thing that’s been annoying since his album release is that ppl  are trying to normalize infidelity 🙄. “Hov cheated and Beyoncé didn’t leave” (once again…🙄). The responses kill me too “y’all don’t have Hov money”. Stop making it seem like cheating is okay and everyone should do it…it’s not. Stop making it seem like it’s more acceptable to cheat if you have a certain amount of money. It isn’t. Ppl cheat for different reason but stop thinking that someone has to stay because you cheated 🤦🏽‍♀️.

2. I wish that there could be some kind of movement where more ppl focused on building up their communities. Why can’t that be a sign that we “made it” ?

3. Communication is really key but for some reason it’s often overlooked or the hardest thing for some of us to do.

4. The internet/media will have you gassed. “Why spend your day working on someone else’s dream when you can work on yours”. Have a bad day at work and seeing shit like that will have you drafting your resignation letter 😂. Don’t quit your main source of income to start or build your dream. Simply put…you’re probably going to need money to fund your dream/project. I’m still torn between peace of mind and income. What do y’all feel about quitting a job before you find a new one? We all know the obvious reasons why you shouldn’t, but is there an exception to those?

5. Money doesn’t buy happiness but it buys me things/experiences that can lead to happiness 😂 #morehunnits

6. Sometimes we outgrow things, situations and people. We fight it. It’s not easy to move on from those things that once made you happy.

7. I know when I start to care less about things (not related to #6)…my effort decreases.

8. Vacation can’t come fast enough…25 more days 😩.

9. This blog post is a representation of my overcrowded mind on most days lol.

10. I should be sleeping because I have something important to do in a few hours…but here I am. 

You’re doing great but…

The topic is a fruit I dislike and why.  I don’t want to write about this lol. I dislike watermelon because it’s 🚮. That’s all.

Anyway…today was a hectic day and it was a miracle I made it through because at times it was questionable. Today I told myself after stressing out of course,(hindsight is 20/20). “Do what you can and that will have to be it”. Some things aren’t worth stressing over. Some (most) things aren’t worth jeopardizing your well-being over.

Today I saw a tweet that said someone’s coworker passed away and less than 48 hours passed and they were clearing their desk off. Just a crazy reminder that sometimes we bend over backwards (pause) for people who wouldn’t do the same for us or who don’t have our best interest at heart.

I can go on and on about this. Sometimes you can be so on point and someone will still find a way to show you where you lack. Shit is crazy. Anyway, today I reminded myself about how important my well being and peace of mind is. Me first…them later. Change is coming.

Ageism

I feel strongly about judging someone based on their age. I think usually it’s looked at as something that effects elderly people. I think we also need to focus on how ageism effects young adults. For instance, jobs, whether they admit it or not might not hire someone based on how young a person is compared to the other employees. I could be 23 (I’m not) and be more competent at my job than the next person who is 35 and just changed their career.

I also feel like people in positions of power think that they can take advantage of a younger worker because they feel like you may not be as knowledgeable on your rights and your position.  I feel like a lot of jobs think they can get the younger employee to do the most because we are eager to prove ourselves.

How do we combat that? Be competent at what you do, no one can take that from you. Let your work speak for itself. Research and find out information on policies and work related things that you are not knowledgeable about.

Day 8

This was supposed to be posted last night. I fell asleep. I’m talking drool and all. I might try writing these during my commute like I am now. I’m grateful for another day of life, a place to call home, and family & friends who I love and who love me. I’m also grateful for my job that pays these bills but better is coming. That’s my mindset today.

A book you love & one you didn’t: fun fact about me is I love to read. It’s hard to choose just one. I would choose any one of the Harry Potter books depending on the day. Outside of Harry Potter, I enjoyed To Kill a Mocking Bird, A raisin in the sun, fences (some classics). I really can’t think of a book I didn’t like at the top of my head. 🤔<<<<
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