Writer’s block

Hello there! I know, I know. I’ve been gone for a minute (now I’m back with the jumpoff lol). I’ve been on hiatus for no other reason than I’ve been trying to fight off Writer’s block. I was recently reminded that if you want to be good at something and keep getting better at it, you have to work at it daily. So I’ve decided that I’m going to do a writing challenge. 30days. Which is a lot of consistency lol. But why not? I made this blog wanting to do it consistently. I made the blog wanted to work on and share my craft. So let me get back to that. It’s way too easy to be distracted by every day life and neglect the things that make us happy.

What is something you’re passionate about? Something you do well? Something you want to keep getting better at? Let’s try to work on those things at least 30mins out of the day.

Here’s the writing challenge I”ll be doing.

30-day-Writing-Challenge

 

Chase experiences and memories…

Not money or material things. 

Of course we all know this in theory but sometimes it good to be reminded. Ironically I was reminded by my bartender yesterday at happy hour. 

She said her grandfather told her before he passed away. He had all the things he could ask for and was retired after working hard all of his life. What he told her was, I have all these things but I wish I had spent more time doing things I wanted to do. He encouraged her to live her life doing things that made her happy. 

So as I downed my drink(s), I thought about what she was saying. I don’t ever want to get up there in life and feel like I didn’t do things that I wanted to do because I was working so hard at being financial stable. 

Yes, having money is essential but I don’t want to miss out on the things that make me happy because my one mission is “securing the bag”.  Honestly, I want to do both lol. 

My bartender said “the most important things aren’t things.” She’s right. What’s most important when you look back is not how much money you had at the time or the material items that you had. When you look back you think about the memories, how you felt and who you were with. 

So many of us are guilty of just going through the motions at times (me included).  I want to look back at my life and be like “damn, I had fun”. What about you?

FEAR

A lot of us walk around saying we don’t fear anything or if we do, the things we fear are things. I’m going to share a secret… One of my biggest fears are rats. Now I’ve been told a thousand times that I have nothing to be afraid of and they are more afraid of me (have y’all seen NYC rats??). 

Anyway, when you really examine a fear, is it a fear of the actual thing or how that thing makes you feel? I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s how I feel in the moment. The feeling of fear is associated with lack of control, feeling trapped, uncertainty, etc. 

Another secret…I’m giving a way a lot here. I can be and am very shy in some situations      . I don’t fear speaking in front of people. I fear how it makes me feel. I hate feeling vulnerable as much as the next person. There’s a certain level of uncertainty that comes from “putting yourself out there”. 

Obviously, I have a lot to say so I have to get over that fear. So I was having a conversation over the weekend, and a friend of mine said to me that in order to feel comfortable “performing” or speaking in front of people, I had to just keep doing it. 

Initially I’m like this is terrible advice, why would I want to keep doing something that makes me feel a way? So I came up with the answer. What would I gain out of subjecting myself to my fear over and over?  1. Power over that fear. 2. Confidence and 3. Doing something that I’m passionate about. 

In the rodent situation, I’m still not interested in conquering that fear…so don’t try it. But for public speaking/performing…I may take some steps forward in that department. I say may because someone might read this and try to hold me accountable or something crazy like that. 

The moral of the story is we (I), can’t let fear hold us back from our goals, aspirations or passions in life. We can’t let fear keep us from that new position or that opportunity. For me personally, one of the main things that hold me back from some of the things I want to accomplish is fear. You can know how qualified you are, how talented you are but if you still have that fear those things mean nothing. 

As I close (LOL, don’t you hate when people say that and keep going for another 10mins?), don’t let fear overshadow your qualifications and talents. 

I love you like Bitches love cheddar bay biscuits

Just a little back story: On the day that TJ, Ave and I were recording the podcast Can I Kick It, TJ (I don’t even call her this in real life), was talking about how she has been indulging in cheddar bay biscuits lately. I was also asking them for some writing prompts/topics. Long story short she “dared” or challenged me to write a poem with the first line being “I love you like Bitches love cheddar bay biscuits”. Here’s my take…

Sidenote: the word “bitches” is not meant to offend anyone and is only as powerful as you make it (think about that). It was meant to be funny. Live a little.

I love you like Bitchesss love cheddar bay biscuits
Did I lose you when I said bitches?
I love you like bitches love cheddar bay biscuits
A mixture of salty and sweet
Love at first taste
My body soaking up your goodness, not letting a crumb go to waste
Tongue tied, mouth dried
That’s what you do to me
Still I chew on, indulging in your being
Greedily, I swallow
See I… couldn’t get enough
Choked up from your essence
Not even realizing how much I craved your presence
Until I had you…
So good, I couldn’t have you just once
So I had you again
And again…
So full from the taste of you
My body yearns for nothing else
You fill me up
I’m stuffed
I wash you down,
Thoughts only of how I should take you down
Refreshing juices crashing onto my taste buds
Hope we weren’t trying to play it safe cuz…
I’m more than satisfied
You drew me in but you were more than the appetiz…er
More like the appetizer, main course and dessert
For what it’s worth
You choked me up but quenched my thirst
So I say…
I love you like bitches love cheddar bay biscuits
My snack to hold me over
The extra weight of happiness
The laughter that comes from deep within
That content sigh that comes after thanksgiving dinner
That even in my eyes you’re still a winner
The I should wait but I just need a little more
The those look good but I’m not tryna risk it
Stick to what you know
I love you like bitches love cheddar bay biscuits

Can I Kick It?

Hola!

Do me a favor and check out a new venture I am a part of. I have created a podcast with two friends (TJ and Ave), called “Can I Kick It”. Feel free to send topics to canipodcast@gmail.com

IMG_3107 The podcast created by you for you. Drawing inspiration from every day challenges, social media, and happenings in the world, Kamsz, TJ, and Ave give you their take with a twist. The trio provide humor, story telling and current events all in one.

Episode one —> Can I Kick It (the podcast)

Artwork seen above was created by TJ who you can find on Instagram (@hi.dopenition)

Ave is a music artist (rapper), you can find his information about his music and events on his Instagram ( @Classact_Ave) as well as on the website for his rap collective VentureKlan

Vision Boards? Speaking it into existence? Things of that nature. 

So we spend our whole lives planning right? Some of us plan everything down to the smallest detail. I remember in high school (SJP!) they used to tell us “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”. X amount of years later and I still remember hearing that (I say X amount because I’m aging and time flies). Needless to say I guess that stuck with me. Basically that told me that in order to be successful I always needed to plan or stick to the plan. 

Of course reality kicks in and if you’re in the “adulting” stage in your life, you’ve learned or are learning that things rarely go as planned. That being said, I think what planning really does is keep your anxiety about something to the minimum. We tend to feel better when we can map out how something is going to go. Then life comes and says that was cute, now go that way. We do this with just about everything. We have a blueprint of how we want our lives to be and when we deviate from it, even a little bit, we feel a little less successful. 

So that’s one of my dilemmas with vision boards and speaking things into existence. It isn’t so much that I care about letting others down (been there done that), more so that I’m going to be a little disappointed. 

My other dilemma is that I feel that sometimes it’s better to just do things instead of speaking on them. I don’t know if I think it’s bad luck or whatever but whenever something good is about to happen or I’m about to make a move, I feel like I shouldn’t talk about it until it actually comes to fruition. Am I crazy? The upside to speaking about things you want to do or are doing is that you’re going to have people holding you accountable. Perfect example…me and my ongoing struggle with the gym. Because I opened my mouth and said I want to go to the gym consistently, I have people that ask me “when’s the last time you went to the gym” often. Hate it but love it at the same time….and I’m going to go real soon to answer anyone’s question. 

So I say all of this to say…I’m going to choose a middle ground. I’m going to list below 5 of my goals (this is not an invite to remind me/even though I need it lol). 

1. Become an author

2. Go to the gym…consistently 😩

3. Own a business

4. Take the LMSW exam

5. Stop and smell the roses (figuratively because allergies are no joke)

Send me some encouragement. Tell me some of your goals (in the comment section 😁 preferably or in my inbox if you’re shy). What’s your take on vision boards? Speaking things into existence? If you’ve created a vision board or some kinda goal list how is it working for you? 

Tap Out

So you might be thinking…”she just told us to “push through” a couple of blogs ago wtf.” If you haven’t read that one feel free to scroll down until you stumble across it 🙂. Yes I did write about pushing through and yes this blog is titled “tap out”, but let me explain *in my Kevin Hart voice*

Tapping out has a negative connotation. “Oh you tapped out, you’re weak.” Or “Tapping out means you quit.” It’s never really looked at as meaning “I’ve had enough.”

We are forced to make choices in life daily, so it makes sense that we would want to make choices that would benefit us in the long run. Right? Problem is we are programmed to “focus on the bigger picture.” Which yes, is important to a certain degree…but you cannot neglect the journey while focusing on the destination. Did I lose you?

We are pretty much told that in order to have happiness or anything valuable we have to endure suffering. Why though? I do think that anything worth having takes a lot of hard work, and sometimes that can take a toll on us but suffering?

Sometimes enough is enough. We can’t always be super man or super woman. It’s okay to have help, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to delegate task to other people, and it’s okay to set limits on what you are willing to do. 

Work smarter. That includes putting yourself first at times. We have to know and understand that in order to be an assets to others we first have to take care of ourselves. 

I don’t know about y’all but I don’t want to half ass things. So in order for me to do my best work (in whatever area), I have to be in a good space with myself. That means when I’m not feeling up to it or not feeling like myself I need to “tap out”, take time to relax and refocus. Think about how you work when you’re stressed out and running on two hours of sleep versus being in a great mood after sleeping for 10 hours (if you get this much sleep put me on to your secret).

When you feel good you float through the day. Things that might take you all day to complete when your stressed, tired etc, only took you a few hours. Things that would piss you off or send you over the edge when you’re already upset, you might just brush off because you feel good. 

Sometimes it’s okay to say no, I can’t, not today, I don’t want to do that, etc. Do note that this is something I’m working on too. Work in progress 🙋🏾. 

Tapping out is necessary for your sanity and just your overall well being. How efficient are you when you spread yourself thin or have a hand in several different things at once? I’m sure you find that the less things that you have going on at once, the easier it is to focus and the better you feel about getting them done. 

Tell me if I’m wrong though. 

Tapping out means you’re self aware. You know your limits. You know your triggers. You know when enough is enough for you. Stop staying in toxic situations because you’re promised this big reward. We have to either change our situation to where it’s more manageable or how we think about and react to it.