A lot of us walk around saying we don’t fear anything or if we do, the things we fear are things. I’m going to share a secret… One of my biggest fears are rats. Now I’ve been told a thousand times that I have nothing to be afraid of and they are more afraid of me (have y’all seen NYC rats??).
Anyway, when you really examine a fear, is it a fear of the actual thing or how that thing makes you feel? I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s how I feel in the moment. The feeling of fear is associated with lack of control, feeling trapped, uncertainty, etc.
Another secret…I’m giving a way a lot here. I can be and am very shy in some situations . I don’t fear speaking in front of people. I fear how it makes me feel. I hate feeling vulnerable as much as the next person. There’s a certain level of uncertainty that comes from “putting yourself out there”.
Obviously, I have a lot to say so I have to get over that fear. So I was having a conversation over the weekend, and a friend of mine said to me that in order to feel comfortable “performing” or speaking in front of people, I had to just keep doing it.
Initially I’m like this is terrible advice, why would I want to keep doing something that makes me feel a way? So I came up with the answer. What would I gain out of subjecting myself to my fear over and over? 1. Power over that fear. 2. Confidence and 3. Doing something that I’m passionate about.
In the rodent situation, I’m still not interested in conquering that fear…so don’t try it. But for public speaking/performing…I may take some steps forward in that department. I say may because someone might read this and try to hold me accountable or something crazy like that.
The moral of the story is we (I), can’t let fear hold us back from our goals, aspirations or passions in life. We can’t let fear keep us from that new position or that opportunity. For me personally, one of the main things that hold me back from some of the things I want to accomplish is fear. You can know how qualified you are, how talented you are but if you still have that fear those things mean nothing.
As I close (LOL, don’t you hate when people say that and keep going for another 10mins?), don’t let fear overshadow your qualifications and talents.