Slow & steady wins the race

I know, I know 🙄. It’s cliche. It’s not what you want to hear and it’s damn sure not what I want to hear. It’s true though. Hear me out…

How many times have you rushed through something and made careless mistakes? How many times have you bought something on impulse and see that same item a few days later for a lower price? How many times did you just go with the first option and later found out the second option was better?

I know you related to at least one of those scenarios. Now we all know there is no way that we can 100% account for those situations all the time. My point is that acting impulsively might set you back further than you were to begin with.

Sometimes it’s not good to cut corners or take the fast way out or even the cheaper way out. In this society we are so obsessed with instant gratification that we forget about logic when making a decision.

I can speak from personal experience that it is extremely difficult to stay the course or have patience when everyone else seems to be zipping by or even when you feel like you should be further on your path. So I’m writing this for me just as much for you. Stay your course. What is for you will come.

Now I’m definitely not saying sit back with your feet up and wait for things to come to you. What I am saying is that hard work HAS to pay off. 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Sometimes our “pay off” comes in ways we weren’t checking for. It’s not always a direct correlation but another door always opens. Kinda like a puzzle, you just go with it putting whatever pieces together with the goal being the bigger picture. We use different strategies but the goal is always the same.

Stay strong ✊🏽

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Tired 🙄

I grow tired & weary of people. Tired of “selling myself”, tired of people trying to take advantage and tired of the expectation that settling is better than nothing. To all of that I say…FOH.

Who says you can’t have it all? Who says you have to be traditional? Who says you can’t have fun and work?

What is your passion? What drives you? What motivates you?

Feed yourself! Physically…Mentally & Emotionally. I’m leading to do that more and more each day.

I’ve started something new…vlogging

For me it was about stepping out of my comfort zone, expressing myself, having fun and simply being. So check me out at the link below & get to know me better ☺️

Welcome to my channel!

The struggle is real…

Hi everyone!

I’ve been gone for some time but I’m working on being better (don’t roll your eyes). In the meantime check me out on social media:

Instagram

Twitter

Podcast

YouTube

Now that I’ve plugged myself shamelessly…here’s a few updates

-I’m working on branding and/or rebranding (email me/comment some tips)

– Took my licensing exam for social work & passed (LMSW *whoot whoot*)

-We are on episode 16 of my podcast! (link above). Honestly it has some great content, sometimes controversial but guaranteed to make you think. Guaranteed laughs and definitely relatable. Check it out, give feedback and recommend some podcasts for me to check out. Please & thank you 🙂

-I feel like I’m on the brink of something great. I don’t know why but I do.

Quick check in but I’ll be back sooner than later.

Stop

Trying to get over on people ‼️

Sometimes I get on my own self for not being cut throat, throwing people under the bus, or just trying to get over on general. Shit, everyone else is doing it right? I’ve had these things done to me, so why not return the favor?

Then I have to remind myself of who I am. I’m not that person that doesn’t want to see others win. I’m not the person that will step on others to get to where I need to be. I’m not that person that’s trying to get over on you and I’m not that person that’s going to kiss ass to get to where I want to be. 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Sometimes I do feel like those characteristics are looked at as good (on the low). They just change the wording.. “she’s ambitious” or “she doesn’t let anything get in her way.”

Be great but not at the expense of others. I can win without putting someone else down. We definitely live in a society where it’s “me or you”. And sometimes that’s fucked up!

I’ve always been told never let the things that have happened to me or happen to me change the person I am. Let me tell ya…that shit is hard. Hard being a team player when you’re around people that will throw you under the bus without a second thought. Hard being a hard worker when your work is overlooked or taken for granted. Hard being genuine or nice if your kindness is taken for a weakness.

So what do you? Whatever the hell makes you happy. I choose to change my surroundings 🤷🏽‍♀️. I don’t want to be around people to who ambition means shitting on everyone else. Or that I have to compromise my morals or values to succeed.

I have heard that you have to “play the game” sometimes, but know that there’s a difference between playing the game and losing yourself.

There are people like me who still value genuine people and who you are as a person rather than what you have. I’m just saying. 

Who you know

Can I talk my shit? Okay good. I’ve been so frustrated with this job search lately. I knew this already but it isn’t really What you know but who you know. They tell us we need to go to school, we need to do this training, we need this experience so that we can be more marketable. We do those things in one way or the other and guess what?… still nothing.

I’ve been told I look good on paper 🤷🏽‍♀️. It looks to me like that doesn’t matter most times. If I’m being honest, I’ve gotten more jobs through someone I knew. My resume speaks for itself but you won’t take a look at it if someone doesn’t push it to you?

It’s frustrating to know you bust your ass only for someone to be able to “control” your future.  I’m also tired of being overworked and underpaid. Have you all looked at these job postings lately? Some of the salaries that are being offered are disgraceful. How are we supposed to survive and maintain on those salaries? Shit is sad.

I have to vent because I don’t know whatelse can be done about this. Just know your worth and I’m going to take my own advice. Someone close to me told me I shouldn’t settle for less than I deserve just because I want a new job.

In general we gotta stop being okay with being compensated the bare minimum. Your craft, your work, your effort…all of that is valuable. We gotta stop letting people devalue us.

& shit I didn’t put myself in debt to be barely making it. Something gotta give 💁🏾. 

Family

Family…how many of us have one? (Lol)

What does family really mean? When you look it up, the definitions are: 1. “a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household” 🙄 and 2. “All the descendants of a common ancestor” 🙄🙄. I’m sure there are other definitions but those are the first two that came up for me 🤷🏽‍♀️. 

I cannot define what family means to anyone else but myself. We mostly hear positive things about families depending on the crowd. “Family over everything”, “Who needs friends when you have family” etc etc

I think as we get older what family means and the importance of family changes. To me family is more than a blood relative. Sometimes friends turn into family and to me sometimes that bond is even stronger 🤷🏽‍♀️. Think about an extended family member who you might pass the gravy to on a holiday versus a friend you consider your brother/sister who’s experienced many important life events with you. Which one is more of your family? That’s up to you to decide. 

Sometimes the word family comes with so many expectations. I always felt like the more expectations you have for people the easier it is to be let down. I know, I know 🙄. 

The reality is that just because someone is related to you doesn’t mean they are automatically loyal to you or that they automatically have your best interest at hand. That also goes for anyone in general though. Sometimes we have both families and friends close to you that don’t always have your best interest in mind. 

I definitely don’t want to downplay the importance of family. It should be family over everything (however you define family). I’m over the superficial ways though. Stop calling ppl your “bros” or “sis” even “auntie” or “uncle” if when you’re in some deep shit, you can’t turn to any of them. 

Check on your family and let them know they’re loved and appreciated. You never know what silent demons someone is battling. Give support when it’s needed, even if its not always asked for. Big them up when they’re on to something but let them know when they’re wrong. I promise you support goes a long way. 

Finding balance

So if you know me or if you’ve read previous post you know I don’t have the answers to anything (pretty much). A large part of me getting things together is trial and error (I hate that). Why isn’t there some kind of guidebook to life? I.E if you take that job you’ll be miserable or get into that relationship and you’ll gain 50lbs 😂. I’m just saying 🤷🏽‍♀️. I guess that would take away from the learning process but damn for someone like me, I like to, no need to know what I’m getting into before I get into it. 9 times out of 10 this isn’t the case.

So what do you do? Refer to the beginning when I stated that I don’t have the answers (because I don’t). I’m just trying to stay afloat lol. Life is a balancing act. There’s no secret formula that will give you the perfect balance (all those wasted hours in math class for nothing), also is there even the “perfect balance” ??

I think it’s a myth. Every time you think you have something figured out life is like ha! You thought! Lol. I figured I’d do a little check in to remind you all that we are probably in the same boat and once again I don’t have the answers. If ever I figured this thing called life out, I won’t be stingy, I’ll share the answers. Until then…carry on

I’m trying to make some significant changes in the next month or so (significant to me at least). I need and crave consistency and lately that has been missing from life.

Shoutout to anyone that is starting a new venture or thinking about starting a new venture (do that shit!). The biggest thing for me right not is not settling for less than I deserve. Changes coming soon…