We often measure availability as a good trait and positive construct. We praise the kind of person who is “always there when I need them”, or “will drop everything and run”. Don’t get me wrong, those are admirable traits…to and for the right people.
On the flip side of things always being available is a gift and a curse. Being available means I’m a good friend, I got your back, I’m here for you etc etc. It also is the vehicle that drives people down the road of complacency. “I don’t have XYZ? It’s fine because I know my Ride or Die got it.” “Shit, I fucked up?…no worries, my go to is going to clean this up”.
That teaches certain people that they don’t have to work things out on their own or come up with a solution to their problem. EYE (I) am not the solution to your problems. Now I can absolutely be that support, that encouragement, that shoulder to lean on but don’t take advantage of that.
Know the difference between when you’re being available to someone and being someone’s safety net. There are some things in life (some might even argue, most things in life) that you have to handle on your own. You cannot slack on your responsibilities or be lax on them because you know if shit hits the fan you have people you can count on. It’s selfish. 1: You’re neglecting to think about what your ride or die or go to person has going on in their own life. Life is REAL. A lot of times we get wrapped up in our own shit and forget that other people always experience shit. 2. You put an unnecessary weight/guilt on your go to people by putting them in uncomfortable situations. I don’t want to have to have uncomfortable conversations about why I can’t help you this time.
A “no” or “I can’t” should be a simple answer right? Even so that seems to be hard for us when it comes to people that we care about. I want everyone around me to be good and in a good space but you should also want that for me.
Know that when you bring people into your issues all the time you’re taking away from them dealing with their personal issues.
Don’t read this and think I’m telling you not to be a good friend, partner, daughter, son, wife or husband. I’m just saying that sometimes it’s perfectly okay to say no. If I always help you through the same issue, or handle the same issue for you, you now become dependent and choose not to find a solution of your own.
I was going to speak up today
But you caught my tongue
Had me tongue tied, palms sweaty and knees weak
My voice is shallow and in my mind is a whirlpool of unlikely events that I pray never scratches the surface
I was going to hit the share button on my latest venture
I felt my muscles tighten up and my mind went into overdrive
99 thoughts of failure on the wall
I stand still as signs wiz pass
Slow down, speed limit strictly enforced
You’re moving too fast
Deer crossing sign
They stare, they won’t understand you
To what society thinks, what the people want to see
Or get left
Life is too short
Not enough time for regret
I’d rather do what I enjoy & hope you enjoy it too
Rather not drown in self doubt or worry about the clout
Rather perfect my craft
I did the math
Self confidence plus talent or skill
Minus the nay sayers
It has officially been a year since I started this here blog. I must say that I’m kinda proud of myself lol. I’m not where I want to be with this blog quite yet but I’ll get there.
I’m looking forward to what 2018 holds for me. I’m not scared, I’m not anxious, I’m simply just looking forward to it. I can’t say that 2017 has been a horrible year. It definitely has had its challenges but overall I’m proud of how I made it through the year. I’m using 2017 as a stepping stone to a better year in 2018 and a better me overall.
Looking back at my first blog post on here, one of my goals for 2017 was to spend more time doing things that make me happy. I did that! and guess what??….I plan to do a lot more of that in 2018.
In 2018 I want to step out of my comfort zone even more than I am now. I want to share my creative side with you all :). I want to become more financially stable….Just to name a few things. Can’t let y’all in on all the secrets. Stay Tuned though!
Two things that I started in 2017 and will be continuing in 2018 are:
A Podcast! – Can I Kick It? The Podcast Here we discussed EVERYTHING. Culture, The current state of the world, music etc etc. Something for everyone, check it out 🙂
A YouTube Channel- SparkedBySimone Vlogs, Rants, My stance on certain topics/issues, jokes and anything else that gives a peep into the person that I am. Comment, Like and Subscribe 🙂
I want to wrap this up by saying: Make 2018 your best year to date, dust off your to-do list, cancel your excuses and get to it! Happy New Year!
I know, I know 🙄. It’s cliche. It’s not what you want to hear and it’s damn sure not what I want to hear. It’s true though. Hear me out…
How many times have you rushed through something and made careless mistakes? How many times have you bought something on impulse and see that same item a few days later for a lower price? How many times did you just go with the first option and later found out the second option was better?
I know you related to at least one of those scenarios. Now we all know there is no way that we can 100% account for those situations all the time. My point is that acting impulsively might set you back further than you were to begin with.
Sometimes it’s not good to cut corners or take the fast way out or even the cheaper way out. In this society we are so obsessed with instant gratification that we forget about logic when making a decision.
I can speak from personal experience that it is extremely difficult to stay the course or have patience when everyone else seems to be zipping by or even when you feel like you should be further on your path. So I’m writing this for me just as much for you. Stay your course. What is for you will come.
Now I’m definitely not saying sit back with your feet up and wait for things to come to you. What I am saying is that hard work HAS to pay off. 🤷🏽♀️.
Sometimes our “pay off” comes in ways we weren’t checking for. It’s not always a direct correlation but another door always opens. Kinda like a puzzle, you just go with it putting whatever pieces together with the goal being the bigger picture. We use different strategies but the goal is always the same.
Stay strong ✊🏽
I grow tired & weary of people. Tired of “selling myself”, tired of people trying to take advantage and tired of the expectation that settling is better than nothing. To all of that I say…FOH.
Who says you can’t have it all? Who says you have to be traditional? Who says you can’t have fun and work?
What is your passion? What drives you? What motivates you?
Feed yourself! Physically…Mentally & Emotionally. I’m leading to do that more and more each day.
I’ve started something new…vlogging
For me it was about stepping out of my comfort zone, expressing myself, having fun and simply being. So check me out at the link below & get to know me better ☺️
I’ve been gone for some time but I’m working on being better (don’t roll your eyes). In the meantime check me out on social media:
Now that I’ve plugged myself shamelessly…here’s a few updates
-I’m working on branding and/or rebranding (email me/comment some tips)
– Took my licensing exam for social work & passed (LMSW *whoot whoot*)
-We are on episode 16 of my podcast! (link above). Honestly it has some great content, sometimes controversial but guaranteed to make you think. Guaranteed laughs and definitely relatable. Check it out, give feedback and recommend some podcasts for me to check out. Please & thank you 🙂
-I feel like I’m on the brink of something great. I don’t know why but I do.
Quick check in but I’ll be back sooner than later.